Sacred Feminine

Sacred Feminine: Sacred and squashed? 
How has the sacred feminine in you been squashed? Sacred feminine meaning qualities like intuition, feelings, connection, sensation. Our culture has feared these. Churches have feared these. Leaders seeking power have feared these. They are threatening. Witches were murdered. Yet, these qualities will never desert us, leave us, dry up. They are there, just waiting to be noticed, reclaimed and alivened. 

Church’s messaging 
In an evangelical context I was taught feelings could not be trusted based on a Bible verse. It was not a welcomed move to question those in leadership. Stillness was not encouraged, instead more doing, for more “excellence.” That word still makes me cringe. I was working in a context where those in leadership were father figures, I soaked up their ideas and made it my mission to follow and teach all of the rules, beliefs and structures. It gave me security and stability in my adolescence and young adulthood, a time of so much uncertainty and identity searching. I remember wishing I was more “masculine,” like there was something wrong with me. 

And yet
And yet, as I found myself in my early 20’s, working on this church staff, my intuition whispered many times and I followed. At the time, I would have used the language of God, and who knows, maybe the divine, sacred, intuition, regardless, internal messaging that became a compass. Often guiding me in ways that felt scary and sometimes that did not make logical sense. One of these times it led to the insight that began my exit from remaining on the church staff. Today, I was reflecting on that early 20’s version of myself and felt so proud of her. She chose herself, her intuition, her values, over those in leadership and their ideas and desires. 

Sacred flow
Some of these thoughts were prompted as I was reading “Eating in the Light of the Moon” by Dr. Anita Johnston. One of the chapters is about menstruation and how this time of the month becomes our “moon powers;” we’re extra sensitive, able to intuit more, sense our feelings, what we want and need, receive more guidance from dreams. She highlighted the importance of honoring this time with more rest, sleep and alone time and celebrating the onset of menses in females; instead of seeing it as a headache, pain, gross. How do we squash our own sacred feminine by the ways in which we relate to our menstruation, sexuality, and menopause journey? 

Menopause
In “The New Menopause,” MD Mary Claire Haver, describes menopause as our body’s way of reminding us that it is a sacred time for ourselves, to make ourselves a priority, reconnect with ourselves, after, for many, but not all, years of active caregiving, supporting others and placing our own wants on the backburner. Although menstruation may end, the sacred feminine is still there, whispering to spend time with us, get our attention and gently guide us on a path of healing, insight and intimacy. 

Intuition 
In one of my therapy sessions as a client I focused on how when I was in the church world, I did clearly sense “God” was nudging me towards this or that and often, I could see positive results when I followed the nudges. One of my best friends would say, “you have a direct line to God.” Now, over a decade later, I can see that the nudges were internal wisdom, that may have a divine and sacred element, but is not “God” in the sense of some manly power in the sky. After deconstruction I lost my sense of that. It seemed crushed with the loss of my former faith. My therapist taught me it’s always there to reclaim and to follow the small nudges I sense, ie. go left instead of right in the grocery store. 

Symbolism 
To further our connection with the sacred feminine, it can help to come up with symbols and images that feel connected. I’d recommend sitting still and asking yourself, “what images remind me of the sacred feminine?” Then you could have fun journaling about them, drawing or painting them, getting temporary, or permanent, tattoos of them, stickers, take photos when you see them, point them out to your kids, acknowledge them and talk to them when you see them. The moon, willow trees and cats spark the sacred feminine energy in me.

Embracing your sacred feminine 
Below are some ways you can welcome your sacred feminine and hear her whispers:
*Bath- simple bath or add candles, a bath bomb, soothing music 
*Moonlit walk- notice the noises around you and sound of your steps
*Dance- Make a playlist of your favorite songs and allow your body to move freely 
*Eye gazing- Ask a loved one to gaze eyes for 3 minutes then reflect on the experience 
*Flowers- Go somewhere around flowers and notice the colors, scents and which ones you are drawn towards 

Your sacred feminine is beautiful, no matter what the world says.